Silly Pictures

The Michellin Man's Mom!

2007-08-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Is it Friday yet?

2007-08-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

Crazy Old People!!!

2007-07-15T12:21:00.008-07:00

Funny videos!!!

2007-07-15T12:21:00.007-07:00

In Denial...

2007-07-15T12:21:00.006-07:00

Forwarding emails sucks!!!

2007-07-15T12:21:00.005-07:00

For those of you who are sick to death of getting email's that tell you to forward to at least X number of people in the next 15 minutes so that wonderful things and miracles will happen if you do and there will be consequences if you don't, then you will enjoy this.

Click here

One Question IQ Test.....

2007-07-15T12:21:00.004-07:00

One Question IQ Test ..........

Here is a one question IQ test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day...............

There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is completed. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a hammer, how should he express himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer.............

He opens his mouth and says, "I would like to buy a hammer".
If you got this wrong, please turn off your computer and call it
a day. I've got mine shutting down right now.

Jay Leno Interviews!!

2007-07-15T12:21:00.003-07:00

When it's OK to say OH SHIT!!!

2007-07-15T12:21:00.002-07:00

It's permissible only when in dire straits or in extreme peril.

Dad is a graphic designer!!!

2007-07-15T12:21:00.001-07:00

We all know that Moms love to dress up their kids.
But when Dad is a graphic designer, anything is possible..

It all started out with the innocent baby picture below...

And then the following...

Too funny - THE END!!

An atheist in the woods!!!

2007-07-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

An atheist was walking through the woods.
'What majestic trees'!
'What powerful rivers'!
'What beautiful animals'!He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing In on him.He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, 'Oh my God!'

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. 'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.' 'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer'?

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian'?'Very Well,' said the voice.

The light went out.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.

Funny Videos!!!

2007-05-26T19:35:00.000-07:00

People!!!

2007-05-26T19:28:00.000-07:00

No Photoshop here!

2007-05-26T19:23:00.001-07:00

Silly kids!!!

2007-05-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

Parent of the Year Award Nominees!!!

2007-05-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

In Denial!!!

2007-05-26T19:13:00.000-07:00

Marriage before sex!

2007-04-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

Arm muscle tatoo!!!

2007-02-14T19:11:00.001-08:00

Low Budget Elvis!!!

2007-02-14T19:11:00.000-08:00

Would you fly in this? You may get the chance!

2007-02-13T19:35:00.001-08:00

Even though the Aeroscraft dwarfs the largest commercial airliners, it requires less net space on the ground than any plane because it doesn't need a runway. The airship takes off and lands like a helicopter: straight up and down.

This is not a Blimp. It's a sort of flying Queen Mary 2 that could change the way you think about air travel. It's the Aeroscraft, and when it's completed, it will ferry pampered passengers across continents and oceans as they stroll leisurely about the one-acre cabin or relax in their well-appointed staterooms.

Unlike its dirigible ancestors, the Aeroscraft is not lighter than air. Its 14 million cubic feet of helium hoist only two-thirds of the craft's weight. The rigid and surprisingly aerodyn amic body - driven by huge rearward propellers - generates enough additional lift to keep the behemoth and its 400-ton payload aloft while cruising. During takeoff and landing, six turbofan jet engines push the ship up or ease its descent.

This two football-fields-long concept airship is the brainchild of Igor Pasternak, whose privately funded California firm, Worldwide Aeros Corporation, is in the early stages of developing a prototype and expects to have one completed by 2010. Pasternak says several cruise ship companies have expressed interest in the project, and for good reason: The craft would have a range of several thousand miles and, with an estimated top speed of 174 mph, could traverse the continental U.S. in about 18 hours. During the flight, passengers would peer at national landmarks just 8,000 feet below or, if they weren't captivated by the view, the cavernous interior would easily accommodate such amenities as luxury staterooms, restaurants, even a casino.

To minimize noise, the aft-mounted propellers will be electric, powered by a renewable source such as hydrogen fuel cells. A sophisticated buoyancy-management system will serve the same purpose as trim on an airplane, allowing for precise adjustments in flight dynamics to compensate for outside conditions and passenger movement. The automated system will draw outside air into compartments throughout the ship and compress it to manage onboard weight.

On a pressurized plane, windows like these would explode outward. The Aeroscraft does not fly high enough to need pressurization.

The company envisions a cargo-carrying version that could deliver a store's worth of merchandise from a centralized distribution center straight to a Wal-Mart parking lot or, because the helium-filled craft will float, a year's worth of supplies to an offshore oil rig. "You can land on the snow, you can land on the water," Pasternak says. "It's a new vision of what can be done in the air."

Funny stuff!

2007-02-13T19:13:00.000-08:00

Venganza Femenina!!!

2007-02-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

Una familia feliz esta a punto de cenar, cuando uno de sus
hijos le pregunta al padre si puede hacer una pregunta.
!Claro, hijo hazla!
Papi, ¿cuantos tipos de senos existen? Y el padre, un
tanto sorprendido, le responde: Bien, mi hijo, existen tres
tipos de senos: A los 20 años la mujer tiene los senos como
melones, firmes y redondos. Entre los 30 y los 40 son como
peras, todavia bellos, pero caídos. A los 50, los senos quedan como cebollas
¿Cebollas?, dice asombrado el niño.
Si querido, cuando las miras te dan ganas de llorar.
Esta explicación pone un tanto nerviosa a la madre,
hasta que una de las hijas interviene:
¿Puedo yo ahora hacer una pregunta un poco personal?
Si nena, esta vez le responde la mama.
¿Cuantos tipos de penes
existen?
La madre, con mirada vengativa, dirigiéndose a su marido,le
responde:
Bien hijita, un hombre pasa por tres fases distintas:
A los 20 años tiene el pene como un Jacaranda, esbelto,bello y
firme. De los 30 a los 40, como un gomero, todavía de pie, pero
flexible. Después de los 50, queda como un árbol de Navidad.
¿Como un árbol de Navidad?, dice asombrada la nena.
Eso mismo: muerto de la raíz a la punta y con las bolas
colgadas de adorno.

Those Born 1930-1979

2007-02-05T22:55:00.000-08:00

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our
tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the
problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from
these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

Platanos Dominicanos

2007-01-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

- "Con permiso" - pregunta un cliente a un empleado dentro de una tienda.

- "¿En cuál góndola se encuentran los plátanos dominicanos?"

El empleado de la tienda mira al cliente y le pregunta:

- "¿usted es dominicano?"

El cliente, evidentemente ofendido, le responde:
- "pues sí, soy dominicano. Pero déjeme preguntaile una cosa, ¿si yo hubiera procurado las salsas italianas, usted me hubiera preguntao si soy italiano? ¿O si le hubiera pedido salchichas alemanas, usted me hubiera preguntao si soy alemán? ¿O si le hubiera pedido un hot dog me hubiera preguntao si soy americano? ¿O si le hubiera pedido un taco me hubiera preguntado si soy mejicano?...... ¿Ah? ¿AH? ¿Contéteme, ah?"
El empleado le responde :

- "bueno, pues no."

- "Y señoi, si yo le hubiera pedío a usté un whisky irlandés, ¿me
hubiera preguntao si soy irlandés?"
- "Bueno, probablemente no" - le respondió nuevamente el empleado.
Con un gesto de suprema indignación, el cliente le dijo:
- "entonces, muchacho errr diablo, ¿por qué me preguntaste si soy
dominicano cuando te pregunté aonde están los plátanos dominicanos?"
El empleado respondió:
- "Señor, porque usted está en Home Depot..."

The funniest videos out there !!!

2007-01-13T23:20:00.000-08:00

Then 1956 and now 2006

2006-12-31T17:34:00.000-08:00

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his own gun to show Jack.

2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1956 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

1956 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

1956 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.

2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1956 : Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

2006 : Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

1956 - Ants die.

2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1956 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.

Bad Jobs !!!

2006-12-30T20:02:00.000-08:00

Funny Christmas stuff !!!

2006-12-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

Arkanoid !!!

2006-11-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

Add Games to your MySpace Profile at YouAreBORED.com!

Play Pacman !!!

2006-11-11T18:46:00.000-08:00

Add Games to your MySpace Profile at YouAreBORED.com!

2006-11-11T18:37:00.000-08:00

Add Games to your MySpace Profile at YouAreBORED.com!

Happy Halloween !!!

2006-10-31T19:15:00.000-08:00

Cubanosky !!!

2006-10-31T19:12:00.000-08:00

Van dos cubanos de visita a Rusia y uno de ellos le pregunta al otro:

"¿Como vamos a pedir comida?"

El otro cubano responde: "Dejame eso a mi y tu veras como me entiendo con los rusos";

llama al mesero y le dice:

Quierosky arrosky blancosky con frijolosky negrosky".

Al poco rato, el mesero le trae arroz con frijoles negros tal y

como lo habia pedido,

a lo que el cubano comento:

Que facil es esto chicoooo!"

Entonces el mesero les dice:

Suertosky que yo soyosky cubanosky, porque sinosky iban a

comerosky mierdosky, los dosky".

Snoring Steven !!!

2006-10-28T23:19:00.000-07:00

U.S. Passports In France

2006-10-28T18:23:00.000-07:00

At a French airport... A group of American retired teachers recently went
to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, was part
of the tour group.

At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his
carry-on. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs Officer
asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously. "Then you
should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, " The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible!" barked the officer. "Americans always have to show their
passports on arrival in France ." The American senior gave the Frenchman a
long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at
Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find
any Frenchmen to show it to."

Jim and Edna!

2006-10-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental
hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool,

Jim suddenly jumped into the deep
end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She
swam to the bottom and
pulled Jim out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, for she
now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to
tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have
good news
and bad news.

The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to
rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of
another patient, I have concluded that your act displays a clearly
sound mind.

But, the bad news is, Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the
bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after ! you saved him. I am so
sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

"How soon can I go home?"

Obituary of the late ... Mr. Common Sense!

2006-10-22T22:10:00.000-07:00

Such is the world in which we live...................................................

Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn't always fair; and
Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place ... Reports of a 6 year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Steven the Nerd!

2006-10-11T18:04:00.000-07:00

Middle aged at the beach!

2006-10-11T17:50:00.000-07:00

She's silly!

2006-10-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

Nice Organ

2006-10-11T15:37:00.000-07:00

There was a church down in Texas that had a very big-busted organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist. One of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green persimmons, and rub them on her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size. She warned her to not eat any of the green persimmons though, because they are so sour, they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while. She agreed to try it. The following Sunday morning the minister got up on the pulpit and said....... "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol we will not hath a thermon tewday."

Wise Words!

2006-10-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

"Here's my strategy on the Cold War: We win, they lose."
- Ronald Reagan

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

! - Ronald Reagan

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."

- Ronald Reagan

"Of the four wars in my lifetime none came about because the U.S. was too strong." - Ronald Reagan

"I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandment's would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress."

- Ronald Reagan

"The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination."

- Ronald Reagan

"Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other."

- Ronald Reagan

"The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth is a government program"

- Ronald Reagan

"I've laid down the law, though, to everyone from now on about anything that happens: no matter what time it is, wake me, even if it's in the middle of a Cabinet meeting."

- Ronald Reagan
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."
- Ronald Reagan

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."

- Ronald Reagan

"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book."

- Ronald Reagan

"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women. - Ronald Reagan

"If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."

- Ronald Reagan

How to trap a terrorist!

2006-10-06T19:48:00.000-07:00

2006-10-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

2006-10-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

2006-10-06T18:56:00.000-07:00

2006-10-06T18:54:00.001-07:00

2006-10-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

Hollywood in 40 years!!!

2006-07-23T13:58:00.000-07:00

The silly Burketts!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

2006-07-23T13:19:00.000-07:00

..QUE RICO HUELE TU PELO..

2006-07-08T07:29:00.000-07:00

Un hombre se acerca un día a una compañera de trabajo dela oficina, se para muy pegado a ella, aspira una profundabocanada de aire y le dice:Mmm! ¡que rico huele tu pelo!..

Al día siguiente sucede lo mismo, el hombre se le para muy pegado y exclama !!!¡Mmmm! ¡que rico huele tu pelo!..

La cosa se repite al día siguiente y al siguiente...

Después de una semana la mujer revienta y entra muy angustiada en la oficina del jefe y le dice:..Ya no aguanto mas, ¡¡esto es intolerable !!, quiero poner una queja contra un compañero de trabajo por acoso sexual..

El jefe escucha la historia y muy sorprendido le pregunta: ¿Pero porque le molesta que su compañero le diga que su pelo huele rico?Y la mujer muy enojada le contesta: ¡¡¡¡ Porque el hijo e puta es enano !!!!!!

What???

2006-06-19T11:10:00.000-07:00

Topless!!!

2006-06-19T11:05:00.000-07:00

Take me to the cleaners baby!!!

2006-06-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

They're still dead!!!

2006-06-19T10:57:00.000-07:00

Speling iz knot imprtunt fir astranawts

2006-06-19T10:56:00.000-07:00

That is so wrong!

2006-06-19T10:55:00.000-07:00

She'd rather die!!!

2006-06-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

Sexual billboard!

2006-06-19T10:51:00.000-07:00

PAT

2006-06-19T10:49:00.000-07:00

No comment ! ! !

2006-06-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

Marry indoors!!!

2006-06-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

Farting fish!!!

2006-06-19T10:40:00.000-07:00

El Nuevo Dia!

2006-06-19T10:38:00.000-07:00

Email groom!!!

2006-06-19T10:34:00.000-07:00

Big!!!

2006-06-19T10:32:00.000-07:00

Bad wife!!!

2006-06-19T10:30:00.000-07:00

Cereal???

2006-06-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

Name change please!!

2006-05-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

McLogic gone wrong!!!

2006-05-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

Careful!!! Mass cow suicides!!!

2006-05-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

Make up your frickin' minds!!!

2006-05-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

Major dilemma in California!!!

2006-05-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

Load em up with burritos mom!!!

2006-05-25T13:33:00.000-07:00

I'm confused!!!

2006-05-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

How the hell can I write if I'm illiterate!!!

2006-05-25T13:31:00.000-07:00

How do you get there from here?

2006-05-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

Good job!!!

2006-05-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

Good deal!

2006-05-25T13:27:00.000-07:00

Everything you need for a shotgun wedding!

2006-05-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

Don't drink and make signs!

2006-05-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

Beautiful lush lawns of dirt!

2006-05-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

Things you don't normally see at the zoo!!!

2006-05-25T13:22:00.000-07:00

What will I be when I grow up???

2006-05-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

Rednecks!!!

2006-05-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

Redneck Lawnmower! Redneck Motorcycle!!!
Redneck Palm Pilot!!!
Redneck Powerball Winner!
Redneck Weather Station!!!
Redneck Wedding Reception!
Redneck guest houses!!!
Redneck Gingerbread house!!!
Redneck Horseshoe!
Redneck Bass Boat!!!
Redneck BBQ Grill!!!

Follow the Rat!!!

2006-05-24T14:02:00.000-07:00

A man walked into a curio shop in Galveston Texas.

Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very life-like,

life-size bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag,

but it looked so striking that he decided he must have it.

He took it to the owner and asked "How much is the bronze rat?"

"Twelve dollars for the rat, a hundred dollars if you bring it back," said the owner.

The man gave the shop owner twelve dollars.

"I'll take the rat; And I won't be bringing it back."

As he walked down the street carrying the bronze rat, he noticed that

a few real rats had crawled out of alleys and sewers, and began

following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting,

so he began to walk a little bit faster. Within a couple of blocks,

the group of rats behind him grew to over a hundred, and they began squealing.

He started to trot towards the Harbor. He took a nervous look around

and saw that the rats numbered in the thousands, maybe in the millions,

and they were all squealing and coming towards him faster and faster.

Terrified, he ran to the edge of the water and threw the bronze rat

as far out into the Harbor as he could. Amazingly, the millions of rats

all jumped into the water after it, and were drowned.

The man walked back to the curio shop.

"Aha," said the owner,"You're bringing it back!"

"Actually no," said the man.

"I came back to see how much you want for that little bronze Mexican over there!"

Skinny Dipping!!!

2006-05-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables,

horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for

swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer

decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while,

and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women

skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware

of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and replied, "I didn't come down

here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast

Sex!!!

2006-05-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

Cabbage Patch Kids!!!

2006-05-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

Dumbass!!!

2006-05-24T09:52:00.000-07:00

Hot Dog!!!

2006-05-24T09:50:00.000-07:00

Does Steven feel the same way???

2006-05-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

Preoccupied!!!

2006-05-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

M.A.E.

2006-05-24T09:45:00.000-07:00

Jesus Saves!!!

2006-05-24T09:44:00.000-07:00

How to stop a lesbian from smoking!!!

2006-05-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

This is one of my mom's admirors!!! She met him online!!!

2006-05-24T09:38:00.000-07:00

Gotta love those sweet moves!!!

2006-05-24T09:36:00.000-07:00